Captain’s Log – star date 52714 – Day 3 in nature. My body feels weird. Maybe 40 hours of fresh air is having some sort of nonchemical reaction to all of the surely toxic chemicals living in me. I don’t think my New York city body can take this for much longer. I’m going delusional. I wonder if a Prius releases the same exhaust as regular cars. I could just stand in a parking lot for an hour or two and readjust my body. I check my handy “City Kids in the Woods Guide” to see how long it takes to fully adjust and what the side effects are. If I spend more than a week up here Birkenstock will naturally grow on my feet and at least two flannel shirts magically appear in my wardrobe. Spend a month…. I’m talking full on composting, granola eating, grizzly man beard growing and organic farm to table living. Any longer, I’m sure to know every farmers name. I would know if the chickens I’m consuming are happy chickens and the grade of soil my vegetables grow in. I only have a few more hours here. I must get back to the city. I must get back to that level c (at best) air quality….before it’s too late.